Heartbeat to hearbreak
I recently changed the name of this blog from pickleshealth to charging elephant blog, and really nothing else changed but the name. I created a podcast that can be found on iTunes and on anchor.fm - I want to be open and real, and raw on my brutal journey to losing weight. This blog will be the foundation of the podcast and provide behind the scenes to speak to challenges, and the highs of eating a better lifestyle.
At this time the plan was to start on June 1st and start eating and living a clean eating lifestyle, search for a life or health coach and a program that I can stay on the rest of my life. However the title to this might give you the sad reality that something went way bad.
I had wanted to have this thing, this goal to work towards of loosing weight and the news of having a child was just what the doctor ordered. This would give me the "umph" I need and the WHY to my sail. I supposed doing it for pure health reasons was just not enough. Let me tell you that the day I heard our child's heartbeat it was a time that time stood still and I knew that I had to be the person he or she needed me to be. June 1st was just around the corner and then it was on like donkey kong. I knew that at the end of May we had a 3 day camping trip and that it would make it hard for me to start a "new lifestyle" then. So, June 1st seemed like a perfect magical day to start.
May 28th would change that idea on it's head and challenge me to the core. Linda was tired and it was not unusual that she was tired. She was tired every night with the kid on the way. This day, she was tired all day and so I did the housework, made the grocery list and headed out the door to clean the car, wash the car and get those grocery's.
On the way home, my mind was at peace, it only had this small whisper that maybe Linda just will not make it all the way with this baby, and was worried about her and the baby for some reason. As soon as I got home I checked my phone (it was charging) in the drive way. The text that followed confirmed my worst nightmare. She was at the University hospital with our neighbor and bleeding heavily.
I called and cried with her and apologized for not being a better husband, that I was a complete jerk during the camping trip and since I am so fat that I had her do all the work.
I was driven by my neighbor friend to the hospital and was in for a long, long night. The OBYGN person came in and ran the test and it was confirmed that the baby miscarriage and we indeed lost the baby. Linda had to be give very strong pain killers and I wept by her side waiting for her to recover and be released. At 1am in the morning we was getting her released and ready to go, and as I was about to wheel her out, she got very sick and started to sweat and turn pail white. It took 15 minutes for the nurse to really look at her and when she did the silent hospital room we were in became a busy site to behold. We had over 8 people rushing in and out and getting her back in the bed and they all had worried faces. Her blood pressure had dropped to 80 over 40 and her heartbeat was 40 bpm. She was on the verge of slipping away.
I was there in the room helpless and sick to death with fear that I have lost my little one and maybe I will loose my wife now. I kept saying talk to me Linda, talk to me. I called her parents and asked them to come soon not knowing the future.
Luckily, Linda responded to the quick response of the nurses and doctors and ended up at the hospital over night. I am so glad that Linda was and is safe and healthy now. We have taken that last few days to spend time together and to morn and heal from our loss. We want to thank all those that have helped and a especially to Brian and Sarah (neighbors) for their love and support!!!
During all of this I got several boils that became MRSA and have been sick with that and dealing with the infections.
June 1st was just a few days ago and I have just decided that it take a one day at a time approach to this and there is no magical date or day that can put my mind at ease to start a new lifestyle. Taking on new habits and learning to get rid of bad habits, along with consistency and a willingness to do our best each day is what it is all about. I just cannot loose this weight overnight.
Have a blessed day.
At this time the plan was to start on June 1st and start eating and living a clean eating lifestyle, search for a life or health coach and a program that I can stay on the rest of my life. However the title to this might give you the sad reality that something went way bad.
I had wanted to have this thing, this goal to work towards of loosing weight and the news of having a child was just what the doctor ordered. This would give me the "umph" I need and the WHY to my sail. I supposed doing it for pure health reasons was just not enough. Let me tell you that the day I heard our child's heartbeat it was a time that time stood still and I knew that I had to be the person he or she needed me to be. June 1st was just around the corner and then it was on like donkey kong. I knew that at the end of May we had a 3 day camping trip and that it would make it hard for me to start a "new lifestyle" then. So, June 1st seemed like a perfect magical day to start.
May 28th would change that idea on it's head and challenge me to the core. Linda was tired and it was not unusual that she was tired. She was tired every night with the kid on the way. This day, she was tired all day and so I did the housework, made the grocery list and headed out the door to clean the car, wash the car and get those grocery's.
On the way home, my mind was at peace, it only had this small whisper that maybe Linda just will not make it all the way with this baby, and was worried about her and the baby for some reason. As soon as I got home I checked my phone (it was charging) in the drive way. The text that followed confirmed my worst nightmare. She was at the University hospital with our neighbor and bleeding heavily.
I called and cried with her and apologized for not being a better husband, that I was a complete jerk during the camping trip and since I am so fat that I had her do all the work.
I was driven by my neighbor friend to the hospital and was in for a long, long night. The OBYGN person came in and ran the test and it was confirmed that the baby miscarriage and we indeed lost the baby. Linda had to be give very strong pain killers and I wept by her side waiting for her to recover and be released. At 1am in the morning we was getting her released and ready to go, and as I was about to wheel her out, she got very sick and started to sweat and turn pail white. It took 15 minutes for the nurse to really look at her and when she did the silent hospital room we were in became a busy site to behold. We had over 8 people rushing in and out and getting her back in the bed and they all had worried faces. Her blood pressure had dropped to 80 over 40 and her heartbeat was 40 bpm. She was on the verge of slipping away.
I was there in the room helpless and sick to death with fear that I have lost my little one and maybe I will loose my wife now. I kept saying talk to me Linda, talk to me. I called her parents and asked them to come soon not knowing the future.
Luckily, Linda responded to the quick response of the nurses and doctors and ended up at the hospital over night. I am so glad that Linda was and is safe and healthy now. We have taken that last few days to spend time together and to morn and heal from our loss. We want to thank all those that have helped and a especially to Brian and Sarah (neighbors) for their love and support!!!
During all of this I got several boils that became MRSA and have been sick with that and dealing with the infections.
June 1st was just a few days ago and I have just decided that it take a one day at a time approach to this and there is no magical date or day that can put my mind at ease to start a new lifestyle. Taking on new habits and learning to get rid of bad habits, along with consistency and a willingness to do our best each day is what it is all about. I just cannot loose this weight overnight.
Have a blessed day.
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